HVshirt – I Like Combine Harvester And Beer And Maybe 3 People Shirt

 Once I grew out of a fearful, clingy childhood spent in thrall to the risk of car accidents or black mold, I began to realize that it wasn’t socially permissible to constantly melt down about the potential of things going awry. Thus, I became a bummer masquerading as a cheerful person, someone forcing a mega-chill attitude over a seething mass of insecurity and angst. Want to go skinny-dipping in the campus river at midnight? Sure, let me just tamp down my racing thoughts about hypothermia and amputation and that one scene in A Walk to Remember where the guy jumps into the water and gets hurt, and I’ll be right there.

I’ve always been a negative person (or, to put it less eloquently, kind of a drag). When I was a kid, a similarly ill-tempered family friend and I used to convene in the corner at cheerful, bustling Yom Kippur break-fasts, speculating about the worst thing that could possibly happen in that moment: “What if the ceiling caves in?” “What if the tablecloth catches on fire?”

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